Careful! The Guests Are Loaded!

No one really ever talks about Johannesburg - no one but me of course. I call it "The Monte Carlo of the Southern Hemisphere." & hardly am I ever wrong. No, from the ten million trees planted by human hands to the ten million beads of sweat that pour off the backs of the slave workers in the gold, coal & gelatin mines, there's an allure to Johannesburg that overtakes & astonishes even the most naive of war criminals.

But travel up the N1 (don't stop at Pretoria! the people there are assholes!) & find your way to Warm Baths & you'll discover the heights & depths of depravity that is "down time" for the financiers & substitute teachers who plan, execute & recklessly carry out the War On Sailing.

Oh, you think I kid? But, you say, what happened to the Den Of Iniquity that was New Orleans? Someone got tired of it! What about, you say, the Firecracker Brothels of Shanghai? Can't you see it's too risky to be there now? Oh come on, you say, what about the Heat Fields Of Romania? Well, they're still there, & a paper on that very subject will shortly be published in the July, 2008, issue of Ceramics Quarterly. You need to observe of the utter moral sense - & the lack thereof - these secretive cabalists truly have. Two examples:

- Sex With Food.

When you can destroy lives with a small notation in a memo sent by a PDA, what fun is it to beat up prostitutes or kidnapped Moldavan teenagers? How can you possibly top the amount of control one of these sadists has over pretty much everyone on the planet? Easy. Have sex with all kinds of food. This has become even more fun with a World Food Crisis looming. For a seventy-year-old Swiss Banker with the blood of a teenager from Plano, Texas, & all new organs courtesy of the "accidental" death in a junior high hockey game in Edmonton, spending carnal hours with bags of rice that could save a Somalian village from starvation is the ultimate high.

If you are in Warm Baths, please avoid any hotel room that promises "Sensual Buffet." You have been warned.

- Protest Singing

These industrialists & photojournalists love their irony & so they organize large "festivals," inviting big names - you know who, & so do they - to come sing songs about them. If the hateful edibles sex is sadism, this is their masochism. "Ooo, tell us how awful we are! Tell us how you oppress people! Tell us how we're ruining the world!" The stooges in the Consolidated Music Industry are more than happy to comply. It's frankly nauseating.

But don't take my word for it. Spread the rumor & see what happens to it! Because that is more than enough proof.