Red "Tucker" Fosberg has once again produced his famous "2040" list, a compendium of predictions, based almost entirely on the opposite of probability, statistics, & scientific fact, of what the world will be like in 2040. A provocative list, much discussed in very small circles, Fosberg's "2040" has been produced every year since Fosberg was four years old, when his list predicted, somewhat direly, that "In 2040 giant waterbug monster will kill everyone." Fans of Fosberg appreciate that this early sophistication has not been improved upon in the list's many years.
The War On Sailing blog is proud to present excerpts from Fosberg's 2008 "2040" list. Now in its seventh decade, the list remains the only predictive list which has been utterly different every time it's published.
From Fosburg's preface:
"In 2040, I plan to be dead. I have therefore spent my entire life wondering what the world would be like if I could live to be that age. Although the 1975 2040 list predicted that I would actually be alive in 2040 but as a disembodied 'selfish gene,' the foolishness of that prediction was revised in my 1980 2040 list, in which I predicted that, in 2040, I would have been dead for half a century. Happily, that prediction turned out to be untrue, as has the especially hysterical one in which I imagined that, in 2040, the Insect King would finish his forty-year reign of terror after his workers had consumed the last human. I don't know what I was thinking then. I might have been getting the house sprayed for termites. In any event, enjoy this list, &, as always, don't tell me when my predictions come true. They're supposed to."
My favorite prognostications from this year's list:
"In 2040, thumbs and pinky fingers, generally comfortable on opposite ends of the hand, will finish the strange, rapid evolutionary process of fusion, making a bony claw which will be instrumental in the Avian Civil War to follow."
"In 2040, science will invent a cheese that, once consumed, will make it possible for humans to breathe in liquid. Not water, unfortunately, but in milk, colas, beer & some runny yogurts."
"In 2040, a band of renegade outlaw clowns will win the Nobel Prize for Piracy by kidnapping the entire country of Indonesia & holding it hostage. None of the tiny islands will be spared."
"In 2040, the last remaining examples of paper currency which are not preserved in digital form in digital museums will be passed out to the AfrAsian mutant population to line their nests & feed their pods."
"In 2040, the Undersea Kingdom of Houston will finally end its terrorist attacks against the surface world."
"In 2040, the unexpected return of Jesus will coincide with the unexpected return of Horus & the resulting embarrassment of the two godlings will be endlessly mocked in the media."
"In 2040, chewing gum will once again be legalized, after previously subjugated dentists are freed."
"In 2040, everything will be changed & nothing will hurt you any more."
