New Items! Gas Stoves Of The Future!

A new study by one well-known political group that no one has bothered to discredit has those Americans who fondly remember Grit (America's family newspaper) well & truly up in arms. The flashpoint appears to be a small poem about natural gas "fracking" placed underneath a drawing of a brassiere from a 1895 Sears & Roebuck Catalog, sent as an attachment to an email advertising some coupon savings plan. It is, one source said, the worst disaster among America's excitable elderly since Medicare Part D got all freaky.

One senior group, Americans Who Are Older Than They Look, has sent out a press release in a bottle cast upon the waves of dissent. One member's grandson explained, "He was happy & he just got settled into the home, & now this? Will you look at this room?" A consultant & part-time representative for some seeing-eye dogs made the mistake of using words like "telegram" & "orgy" in mixed company, & was given a stern talking to, as well an elbow in the groin. Staff at the local mixed-media centers have frankly never seen anything like it.

"You see this all the time," staff member Edna Purviance, no relation except the name to the great silent film actress, said. "In the streets, on the avenues, down the boulevards & up the alleys." A member of the town's corrupt but likeable constabulary refused to comment, although he did give everyone a little half-sized business card which is apparently all the fashion, & which had a picture of him holding a taser & his blog's URL.

Sitting on their hands in Washington, sometimes with a male model nearby, the nation's Congressfolk have picked the absolute right time to ignore this. The cable news networks as well as the nation's modest but scrappy syndicate of late-night cable-access shows have chosen to invest heavily on scrying & other forms of fortune-telling. Reports have come in that that, as well as the fact that every night they really need to walk the dogs, will rob this issue of the momentum needed for resolution.