News Item! Literature In 2011 Largely Contained!

The disheartening trend of early 21st century novels to be written by people with either one name or four continued this year, Publisher's Meekly reported in their annual We're Not Kidding edition. Writes editor Herman Candy Cane, "We encourage everyone this year to send us copies to read because it's really expensive for us to buy them ourselves. I'm not kidding guys!"

In Bavarian Poetry news, more verse about castles appeared on castle walls than ever before, despite the imminent collapse of the European Union & a healthy dislike of castles, as reported in Castles Semiannually. "At least they're not those hip-hop tags," says Castle Sales Manager Heinrich Rich at Royal Properties, Luxembourg. "They're just so gauche."

Reeling from not winning any awards for the tenth year in a row, former goat-cheese inhaler & now conservative novelist Newton Mean decided to boycott other writings this year, possibly even his own. "When I was in high school, & a white person was president, & Richard Dean Anderson smiled at me," he told his blog, "that was the America I wanted to write about."

A small group of book critics have, meanwhile, abstained from book reporting & end-of-the-year lists because "they just don't enjoy reading so much anymore." They join the Professional Blurb Writers Of North America in their disdain of modern letters. "You look at the title, you look at the writer's name," said Vice President Morey Moses, "& then you make shit up. No one cares."

Factual Truth! The Director Can Be Also An Actor!

Something unhealthy architects know to be true has also found its way to the theater, motion picture, & television industry (though not necessarily in that order). Former celluloid consumer Goodyear Blurp explains: "We have long assumed one is one where one is done & that is that, but I have seen that THIS IS NOT THE CASE."

Unhealthy speculation has long been a hallmark of the creatives and their ilk, but what observers have witnessed while voyeuristically watching a nearby spectacle has shaken up an already perennial flappable racket: actors directing, writers acting, set decorators suggesting dialogue, caterers fetching things, producers actually producing.

Stock car racers & former Hare Krishna apologists have led the field in active criticism of what former president G.R. Ferd calls "Cross-pollination in the worst cross-dressing way." News channels have rushed hungover reporters into the melee, asking questions like "How long has this been going on?" & "Does anyone hear that strange smell?"

To get to the bottom of this, many fictional characters have promised to tell "their side of the story" in the nutrition information box where high fructose corn syrup normally dominates. Meanwhile this tendency may have moved on to other walks of life, not limited to but including housekeeping, usury, & stripping.

Where will it end?