The disheartening trend of early 21st century novels to be written by people with either one name or four continued this year, Publisher's Meekly reported in their annual We're Not Kidding edition. Writes editor Herman Candy Cane, "We encourage everyone this year to send us copies to read because it's really expensive for us to buy them ourselves. I'm not kidding guys!"
In Bavarian Poetry news, more verse about castles appeared on castle walls than ever before, despite the imminent collapse of the European Union & a healthy dislike of castles, as reported in Castles Semiannually. "At least they're not those hip-hop tags," says Castle Sales Manager Heinrich Rich at Royal Properties, Luxembourg. "They're just so gauche."
Reeling from not winning any awards for the tenth year in a row, former goat-cheese inhaler & now conservative novelist Newton Mean decided to boycott other writings this year, possibly even his own. "When I was in high school, & a white person was president, & Richard Dean Anderson smiled at me," he told his blog, "that was the America I wanted to write about."
A small group of book critics have, meanwhile, abstained from book reporting & end-of-the-year lists because "they just don't enjoy reading so much anymore." They join the Professional Blurb Writers Of North America in their disdain of modern letters. "You look at the title, you look at the writer's name," said Vice President Morey Moses, "& then you make shit up. No one cares."
