While the international debacle in regards to feral children continues unmolested, let quasi-independent observer & part-time committed activist Ernest Growl weigh in on this airy subject:
Contrary to popular misdirection, there is no "problem" with feral children provided you have a continual demarcation between so-called "raised by wolves" types & "raised by douchebag" types. The three Austrian girls, for example, whose mother kept them in a cellar for seven years - raised by a total douchebag. The young Romanian boy allegedly reared by dogs who was discovered in 2002 - a feral child. Let's put too fine a point on it: you cannot bandy the phrase "feral child" about when you just want to inflate the numbers so you have extra heft to your empty doctoral dissertation. You should write about Bruce Springsteen like you wanted to & forget this subject. You'll get a PhD! They give them out like condoms!
As a former feral child (I was raised by pumas because my parents couldn't afford to get me into a decent prep school), I can say with virtual certainty that being able to clean oneself with one's tongue is a talent that verges on the heaven-sent. I can also say that, although English is my second-language, it has none of the elegance of the truly subtle purr-speak of most felines. These kinds of insights are not only exclusive to me & my feral brethren, they are highly disputed among the jealously elite we call the "raised by their own kind." Are these haters able to kill & eat their own dinner despite the fleas? Are they able to differentiate a threatening footstep from a friendly padding? How about in a thunderstorm? How about while tripping balls on catnip? Why do they, then, insist on reporting on & classifying "feral children"? You wouldn't let someone who didn't know Czech teach Czech to some No Children who were Left Behind, would you? You wouldn't.
This maligning of the feral child & mislabeling of the truly abused must end here & it must end now. Although we'll totally understand if you need time to think about it. There are maybe only a few dozen feral children & obviously tens of thousands of abused children, so we understand that our anger at being treated this way is not proportional to the number of those who are suffering. We're not dumb. & we also won't mind if there's government money available for us which we are - oh, let's just pile it on - for which we're just too socially awkward to ask. We were raised by turtles! & peregrine falcons! & grizzlies! & evangelicals! Help us with some cash!
For more information on feral children, please visit big ominous forests & ask the animals there if they've found anything that belongs to you. They'll know what you mean. They'll take you straight to the feral child nursery. Just take care they don't eat you - animals in the forest are hungry!
