In America, towns disappear all the time. But where do they go? It's the subject of a new Phlogiston Channel's "reality" series called "Waffle Station." Hosted by the star of the sitcom "Wombat," Clash Squeeze, the program examines communities & spends too much time napping in scenic graveyards. UFO Groups provide the commercial support.
Says Squeeze, "I never even met a woman who rollergirls or ultimate fights. There's just no way it's me dressed as a bimbo in those online galleries." Executive Enforcer Damon Mooser cites a 1997 clinical trial as inspiration for the series: "I have virtually no sense of spatial recognition & it has served me well."
American audiences can expect the show if they want, but previews in the former Soviet Russia as well as war-torn Canada have had little or no effect on the local economy. "If it's motor sports they want," critic Perl Gootbloot wrote in the San Salvadore Daily Hurrah, "it'll be like propaganda radio from World War Two all over again."
Already many small American villages have volunteered to abandon their townships in order for a chance to appear on the show. "We have even poisoned the soil with radioactive aluminum," said one resident of Dallas, Texas, before being carted away. "Waffle Station Fever" is a term no one has yet used.
Check your local listings.
