Herman Delgado, in his landmark study Learning To Live With Contempt, inadvertently outlined three things he felt absolutely necessary for geopolitical maneuvering. These were (in the order he suggested, or close to it):
1) Bad writing
2) Mendacity
3) Sincerity
Audrey Mellonballer, in her review of the study for Whoa! magazine, parsed these three meta-ideas thus:
"Through bad writing we see lack of concern; through mendacity we see fear; through sincerity we see desperation. Through it all, we seethe."
Kinnith Weasel, appearing on the cable access show "New Jersey Will Fuck You Up," got into an exchange with a telephone caller about the published work, although it appeared as though the caller had in fact gotten the wrong number:
Weasel: Don't tell me what to do or say, I was an aide to the ambassador to Vatican City for six years!
Caller: I just want to know if Brenda's there.
Weasel: I have two philosophy degrees and a tattoo of Wittgenstein! This is outrageous!
Caller: Are you her Uncle Barney?
Weasel: You need to understand, retard, that not all Americans disdain the diplomatic niceties!
Caller: Can you tell her she left her underwear here by mistake?
It is not usual for tedious academic exercises to make their way into the popular culture, but at least three people (Delgado, his editor, and his mother) was shocked outright when the squabble over his paper made it into a Carson Daly monologue:
[Unavailable, as no one remembered to record it.]
This left the social scientist with some tremendous leverage for his upcoming projects, which included a novelization of the study, as well as a two-act play starring Sean Penn, and a new desk chair on which to sit while he looked at himself on television.
"This time," he reflected in his blog, "I might even get paid for the work I do."
