As someone who loves people, freedom, history, sex with unfamiliar women & freedom, it gives me great pleasure to begin this blog to chronicle the War On Sailing. For a long time I have sat idly by (often I even stretched idly out, especially when my back was hurting me) while academic indifference & tenure-track snobbery chose - even opted - to ignore this terrible, terrible struggle, which continues to take lives, ruin lives, enrich lives & even save lives daily. It is my firm belief that most researchers, journalists & yes, academics have chosen not to study the War On Sailing because it is simply too large a task - its history spans centuries, cultures, language & color preferences; as well, its outcomes have shaped politics, literature, popular music (though not really classical music - & no one really knows why), science, technology, cuisines, religious beliefs, cheese production, addiction, the way people are in California - among other things.
If you're like me, you're wondering two things: 1) Why is this not on the front page of every paper & in the headlines of every news show on television? & 2) If it's so big, wouldn't it be a real pain in the ass to cover it? I believe the second question answers the first - we are able to map the human genome, to write complex code to make software run, to decipher ancient languages & cultures - but we can't really handle anything complicated. We are a lazy culture. & that, too, is a result of the War On Sailing.
I thought it best if we started small. A blog. Then, perhaps once we've gotten our bearings, a short book. Maybe sharing it with some Garfield cartoons. Then a sitcom - probably on Comedy Central, so if it failed, no one would notice. Then a major motion picture. & then: the Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech.
We will examine this rich & unstudied subject through many forms, although I don't really trust the epic poem & probably won't use it. If you knew about what happened to me, a randy graduate student named Eva & a copy of The Iliad, you'd understand. So please, friends, visit this blog often to learn about something that your college professors & friends in the real estate business do not want you to know. That the War On Sailing is real, & it's affecting your life right now!
