While everyone can name their first & most famous "long name," the Terrence Snoot Department at the on-air University of Curls has introduced its bold initiative, "The No Less Than Seven Syllable Project." Director of the center, Hans Dicks, explained, "Is this mic on?" His assistant, the quite striking Kate Quake, added, "See that red light? If the red light's on, the camera's on."
Not to be outdone, Chinese researchers chose instead to focus on the country's energy needs. Yet in India, where the Devanagari script has rebounded on the country's Linguist Market, huge strides have been made to increase the length of historic places by adding more attractive vowel sounds. Two factions have arose, but lack of funding & the need for more time with their respective families has so far prevented conflict.
Europe, too, has thrown their threadbare hat into the ring. Enlisting powerful Welsh elocutionists, the EU (European Utterers) has begun referring to thousands of place names with many more sounds than apparently necessary. Public reaction is mixed - the National Society Of No Time To Do That in Belgium has threatened, when available, to oppose this, while the Direction Givers Of Spain have embraced the change with gusto.
The President, aware of the United States' slipping rhetorical reputation, has asked his party to introduce a bill in Congress, or generally wherever the party may be, to rename Washington, DC, to a difficult (& frankly unprintable) fifteen-syllable tongue twister. As usual, the opposition has gone on television to discredit the idea, thereby creating hundreds of hilarious clips of stupid old men trying ridiculously to repeat the name.
The world has expressed its intense admiration.
