In the crime-ridden sections of San Diego, California, shopping carts full of aluminum cans do not stand abandoned for long. Social workers with just one earring in the left ear & clipboards made out of clear plastic put pen to paper but hesitate & look around. Three officials from the United States Census Bureau, including one who can't help but look like a puffin, chat morbidly outside a condemned building about the recent Comic Con.
"An oxygen-rich diet is fabulous, but you need nitrogen, too," says former mayor & current automaton Ralph Metallic. "You could have been anything that you want to, & I can tell the way you do the things you do." But sandpaper forger & nude model Henry X. Furred sees it another way: "If it wasn't touched by Steve Jobs during his previous life, it's not applicable to my day-to-day."
While churches do not necessarily approve of half-naked youths grappling sweatily with one another while family members look on, the Manly Association Of Youth Pastors has lobbied heavily for adolescent wrestling. A Baptist youth minister from Phoenix, Jack Closet, has even put up a website with himself dressed as Jesus wrestling with pubescent boys in order to drum up support.
But what of the ongoing civil rights violations of Christmas hoarders? No one can say for certain which local non-profit has spent a few dollars looking for a lawyer. There's a drawing of a sea otter at the mouth of a large gutter which delights everyone who espy it. Which is not to say locals don't grumble about this & that; it's just that the air quality, especially from the Pacific, is not what it used to be.
